Scientists Find One Thing All Liberals Have In Common

There are many things you could say belong to liberals. You can say them and somewhere out there, it is the truth. Liberals think life should be free. No, not free like Freedom, free like cost nothing. Let’s all forget money exists and see how far that gets us. Liberals have gay lovers or maybe a “polyamorous” relationship with a couple down the street. Liberals are unemployed and live in their moms’ basements.

Those things all can be said and they would all be true, but not of every single liberal, at least not all at once. Scientists at the Heritage Foundation’s James Heartman Clark research center at the 3rd University of Christ United in Jackson, Mississippi have found that there is one characteristic shared by every single person who has ever called themselves “liberal” or “progressive.”

No liberal would agree to a legal, federal execution by hanging of someone convicted of treason. Not one. Dr. Levi Faviowan, head of research at the intelligent design division of 3UCU, said that every single person who identifies as a liberal answers no:

“Whether in a personal interview, by phone, on the internet or at those little kiosks at the mall, not a single person who can call themselves “liberal” has said they would support hanging for treason.

They may be alright with baby killing, butt sex and destroying our future generations by welcoming Islam into our country, but if a person was so guilty they confessed, knowing that their confession was what would get them hung, And they were sentenced to death, our tradition states “hung by the neck until dead.”

Every liberal had the same answer: Cruel and unusual punishment. Well you know what, you pansies? Deal with it. The only reason they don’t want to see anyone hung is that they know Obama is in the people’s line and they think it will hurt the feelings of black people because people used to hang slaves. People used to hang witches, too…you don’t see them protesting and burning down their own cities.

Liberals are so closed-minded.


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The Potatriot is a Constitutional Conservative from the Constitutional Republic of the United States.