BREAKING: Senator Lindsay’s Murderer Escapes Custody

If the Clintons didn’t arrange this, they won’t be happy their loose end just came completely untied.

John Micheal Happenspiel had help from the outside when he escaped custody from a medium-security federal holding facility in Duluth. His cell was breached from the outside with C4 explosives while he hid under his mattress. He exited to a retractable ladder from a helicopter above and took off, fleeing low on the horizon and under the radar.

Investigators have no leads other than a partial tail number from the helicopter that they’re looking into. The escape could mean that Happenspiel is more valuable to the Clintons as a live assassin than if they had him killed, or it could mean that he is resourceful and had this set up on his own. An operation that elaborate would cost millions and take weeks to plan.

The Clintons still deny knowing this man even though a case is currently being made to a grand jury to indict them for conspiracy along with him. They claim the entire thing is just some right-wing conspiracy theory that will fizzle and die.

Bill Clinton told a pal on the golf course that as soon as people realize exactly how insignificant Senator Hal Lindsay is to America, the hype will die down.

No, Slick Willie. We will NOT forget.

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